Saturday, August 11, 2012

Beauty and the Knight ± Chapter 4

Oh  .. My ... God !
i seriously don't believe what I'm seeing here
for a second I thought i was just imagining that he's here
BUT HE'S ACTUALLY RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME !


Zach: Alright Shaika this is Kalid and he'll be joining us today

he said it with a very sharp british accent, i mean come on i saw him for the first time yesterday and today we're playing tennis with together ! Does he even know how to play !!!

Me: Do you even know how to play?
Khalid: 2faaaa 3aleeichhh
Zach: Guess thats a yes, come on let me see you guys play a one on one game
Me: seriously !
Zach: Yes seriously. Yala !
Khalid: Ha...? Yallah ba3ad (laughs khalid)
Me: Yah Zach knows some arabic words
Zach: Just two shaika Yala and Wala, cuz thats the only two words she uses
Khalid: Don't worry now that i'll be joining you, i'll be teaching you more words
Me: Joining us?
Zach: Enough with the talking lets play !



My first one on one game with Khalid it was, hmm how should i put it . . .


Zach: AMAZING GAME YOU GUYS! i would never put a male and female player against one another but the first round Kalid beating you up sure brought up the anger in you and made you win the second round
Me: Yah it was quite a nice game (looking at khalid with a smile)
Zach: Today we may wasted some time but on tuesday, i'll book the court for 3 hours to have a long harder match between you two, and get you shaika ready for that tournament
Khalid: Tournament ?
Zach: I got to go i'll see you two tuesday. Khalid great to meet you
Khalid: You too ..
Me: How did you know i was playing here
Khalid: tarach entee khabarteenee
Me: oh... bas keif 3eraft minoo modarbee
Khalid: You were the only one playing today
Me: Ahaaa, yalla i'll see you tuesday take care
Khalid: Haaaa 9abreee, shooo salfet al tournament
Me: i have this tournament in AD next month so i have to train well
Khalid: Aywaa, ok shoo rayech we get a quick shower and meet up in the cafe
Me: no i can't i have to get back home mom is forcing me to have lunch with them today
Khalid: 2faa, khalas next time nshalla
Me: Ok byee

I went into the changing room took a quick shower, got dressed quick and went to my car.
While i was standing outside waiting for the valet to get my car i saw around 15 missed calls from Mayed. How stupid of me not calling him on my way here not even checking on my BBMs. The first thing i did was call Mayed.


{Outgoing call MayUs}

Mayed: Shaikha!
Me: Hiii baaabyy i'm sorry
Mayed: You should be! enteee wein?
Me: I was at my tennis practice
Mayed: Ww leish mat9alteelee awal ma nasheity
Me: Sorry baby i was late so i had to rush here !

All of a sudden

Khalid: Haa shaklich ba3adch hnee
Me: (couldn't even form a sentence) waa... haa...

{Mayed over the phone}
Mayed: Shoo?
Me: Mayed mumkn thawanee bas let me get into my car and i'll call you
Mayed: Quick cuz i'm dead tired i wanna talk to you for a bit
Me: Sure thing babe bye

I turned around and glared at Khalid..

Khalid: Bismelaa shoo saweit ana ?
Me: Nothing, but i hate it when i'm on the phone with someone and someone comes and talks to me
Khalid: 2asef ana
Me: La 3adi
Khalid: You drive?
Me: Heih...
Khalid: 7ata ana (smiling)
Me: (trying to hold back my laugh) really
Khalid: Arnt u 17 yrs old?
Me: Us permit, never been stopped in Dubai
Khalid: (laughs) showing off?
Me: No, its just something you need to know about me
Khalid: so when is ur birthday?
Me: my car is here i got to go
Khalid: tell me when?
Me: we'll talk on bbm, bye
Khalid: (shouts) 3an el sr3a


i looked at him and saw that KILLER smile that makes me feel like i'm melting ever since i saw him. i got into my car and looked at the rear-view mirror and saw him get into the car behind me.
First thing i did was call Mayed.
The usual he spoke about his day.
I spoke about my day.
And then he slept.


I got back home and as soon as i set foot into the house, i heard a loud voice calling me that is coming from the living room, i knew that voice was familiar

Me: BABA!!
Dad: Shawakhy !
Me: Welcome home baba, how was your trip
Dad: Al7amdila, shaikha shu gelna na7na khala9 lazm tarmseen 3erby. Mayestwy tedkhleen aljam3a wentey mat3arfeen titkalmein bel 3erby
Me: Nshalla baba
Dad: Wein khawatch?
Me: Mariam sarat al ski ma3a banat 3ami nasser
Dad: Ww sherineh ?
Me: Sherina is at her ballet lesson she'll be home in a while
Dad: Mashallah 3a banaty Mn akbarhn lein a9gharhn mshghoolat Ntee ma3a khyoolch wl tennis, Mariam 7yat'ha el skii ou sharoon hay aly 3mrha 4 sneen ballet, ela rashood hatha mjabel el tv wla el computer 24/7
Me: (laughs) they'll be home within 15 minutes, ana baseer abdel malabsee ww barja3lek


i went upstair to my room placed my tennis racket to where it belongs, wore something nice as usual no matter where i go to even at home i have to look my best, grabbed my blackberry and laid on my bed, sent mayed I love you, read the usual Maitha's complaints about her mother not letting her to sleep since its the weekend. And then there was Khalid.



{Blackberry Messenger}

Khalid Bin X: Shaikha

Khalid Bin X: Shaikha
Khalid Bin X: Shaikha

Khalid Bin X: Shaikha

Khalid Bin X: Shaikha
Khalid Bin X: Shaikha

Shaikha: Hey :p
Khalid Bin X: I had fun today
Shaikha: What you did shocked me
Shaikha: I really was shocked
Shaikha: But i did have fun
Khalid Bin X: Akeeed =P
Khalid Bin X: your really good 
Shaikha: Haah ofc your talking to a professional tennis player
Khalid Bin X: Showing off again i guess 
Shaikha: LOL no =P
Khalid Bin X: You know
Khalid Bin X: That I'm a professional tennis player too
Shaikha: I thought u were 
Shaikha: Your swings were really good!


Khalid Bin X: Cuz i'm a professional tennis played 
Khalid Bin X: 3-|
Shaikha: Haha!! =P
Shaikha: Ok Khalid Bin X i gtg have lunch with dad 


Khalid Bin X: Talk to me awl matkhalseen i want to get to know you more
Khalid Bin X: Bil3afya :*
Shaikha: Sure!
Shaikha: Allah yi3afeek




I placed my phone onto the table and looked at the screen one more time, and just thought to myself Bin X.. i should ask dad about them the sound really familiar.
I rushed downstair to the dining room to have lunch with the family 

Dad: Samo gabel la takloon
Sherina: baba I already said bismila 
Mom: sha6ra yalla eat
Mariam: baba shoo shtreitlee?
Mom: Wgta ha enteee ba3ad?
Mariam: Mama ana aba a3aref baba shoo 5athaly
Dad: Ba3ad ma netghada braweech
Me: Baba.. ti3arf 7ad mn gom bin X
Dad: Bin X?
Mom: Weeih 3abdallah hathaila gom Bin x, tathkr S3ood, Khalaf, 7maid, M7ammad aly khawat'hom Shamsa, Salameh, Mozeh,
Dad: Heeeeeih 3eraft'hom
Mom: Leish shaikha?
Me: la bas elyoom modareby khabarny 3an wa7ed, weld 7ad minhom he's a professional tennis player
Mom: Heeeih weld Khalaf, Khalid.. hatha kenty tel3been ma3ah dakhalnakom tennis camp mara fee landan yoom kentu 9ghar knty enti tawch 3ad 5 madry 6 ww ho 8 3ala ma a'6n
Me: KHALID EL ASMAR?
Mom: haih khalid el asmar, hatha ho.. mashallah 3ad lo tchoofeena a7eena 8mat al jamal.. ou mob asmar ba3ad.. Ww la mashall..........

I just got into my own world, my mom went on and on i didn't pay any attention to wat she was saying I just can't believe what was i hearing, i quickly ate my food and rushed to my room, grabbed my blackberry, i just had to know if this was THE KHALID .


* * *

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Beauty and the Knight ± Chapter 3


Khalid: Shaikha 



i just stood there speechless and shivering i didn't know what to say back, i just looked at maitha and she had this wide smile on her face 

Maitha: Shaikha this is khalid and he was asking about you 
Me: Wa...
Khalid: Heih kent abach entee teen not maitha when i was waving 
Maitha: bakhaleekom ana, get to know each other
Me: Maitha la2 
Khalid: Shaklha matiba etam roo7ha . . hmm can i give you my pin or you give me yours  to get to know each other over BBM
Me: haa..
Maitha: Women he wants your pin !
Khalid: {laughs} shway shway 3aleiha 3an takleynha 
Me: mmm give me your pin and i'll add you
Khalid: okay 2996F...
Me: okay
Khalid: Mb matsaweyn add, i'm waiting for your request 
Maitha: {laughs} don't worry i'll make her save it now!
Me: wallaah i did! 
Khalid: {laughs} yalla you girls take care it was nice meeting you 

At that moment all i wanted to do was slap Maitha and bury her alive, i just could not look at him for the last time, i turned back and watched him leave.

Maitha: Look who's crazy in love
Me: What did u do that for!
Maitha: have you seen the way you guys looked at each other?
Me: What do you mean?
Maitha: Shawakhy i have never seen you this way before not even with mayed
Me: OH MY GOD! Mayed will kill me if i added Khalid on my BBM!
Maitha: He'll never know 

After that i immediately left the carnival and head back home, i stayed with my family for a while then head to my room, and did the usual got into my PJ's put my bag where it belongs, my shoes in the cabinet and got into bed, and called mayed. 
To be honest throughout my conversation with Mayed all i had in mind was Khalid. My mind wandered around a lot, Mayed just assumed that I was sleepy so he closed. After that my phone wouldn't stop vibrating i knew it was Maitha. . .

{Blackberry Messenger}
Maith: PING!!!
Maith: PING!!!
Maith: PING!!!
Maith: PING!!!
Maith: PING!!!
Maith: PING!!!
Maith: PING!!!
Maith: PING!!!
Maith: PING!!!
Maith: PING!!!
Maith: PING!!!
Maith: PING!!!
Maith: PING!!!
Maith: PING!!!
Maith: PING!!!
Shaikha: Maitha -.-
Shaikha: Seriously? -.-
Maith: Did you add him?
Shaikha: No 
Maith: What are you waiting for!!!!!
Shaikha: It just seems so wrong 
Maith: Just do it and if it does delete him
Maith: Or explain things to him
Shaikha: I'll see
Maith: Do you have his pin?
Shaikha: Of course i do -.-
Maith: Yalla add
Maith: And keep me updated 
Shaikha: Fine 

I left Maitha's convo, went to the MemoPad looked for his pin, i started getting all ticklish. . . copied the pin, went to the BBM clicked on invite contact pasted the pin. . . and clicked ok..
In less than a minute i saw my recent updates and there he was Khalid Bin X … i captured it and sent it to Maitha i felt like i had butterflies in my stomach when i first saw his name...


{Blackberry Messenger}
Shaikha: Capture22_5_56.jpg (18.48KB)
Shaikha: Happy?
Maith: OMGEEEEE!!!
Maith: PING!!!
Maith: PING!!!
Maith: PING!!!
Maith: PING!!!
Shaikha: Whoever taught u on how ping should burn in hell -.-
Maith: Are you talking to him? 
Shaikha: No
Maith: Is he talking to you?
Shaikha: No
Maith: What are you guys waiting for yallaaa talk!
Shaikha: Gn maithana

Placed my phone on the charge and went to sleep...

{next day}

My alarm went off had to wake up for me tennis lesson all i did was the usual got up went to the toilet got ready for tennis grabbed my phones, my wallet, tennis racket and went downstairs to have breakfast, and got into the car. 
i totally forgot i added khalid last night, as i was checking my phone i saw Khalid Bin X for a second i totally forgot who he was. 

{Blackberry Messenger}
Khalid Bin X: Nawarty ya 7ilwa !
Shaikha: :p 
Shaikha: Thank you
Khalid Bin X: :o
Khalid Bin X: Awake at 8:30 am 
Khalid Bin X: Why?
Shaikha: Tennis practice 
Khalid Bin X: Mashallah
Khalid Bin X: So showing off on the first day
Khalid Bin X: :p
Shaikha: Hahahahhaha no
Shaikha: Thats my routine during the weekends  
Khalid Bin X: Nice .. 
Shaikha: Yeh
Khalid Bin X: So, ur name is Shaikha
Khalid Bin X: And your a tennis player
Khalid Bin X: What else 
Shaikha: Well you tell me more about urself
Khalid Bin X: Okay haha
Khalid Bin X: As you can see my name is Khalid Bin X
Khalid Bin X: I'm at X University 
Khalid Bin X: Studying Law
Khalid Bin X: And i'm 19 years old 
Khalid Bin X: What about you
Shaikha: LOL 
Shaikha: Shaikha, 17, graduating from school in 3 Months, still trying to figure out where to study 
Khalid Bin X: Nice 
Khalid Bin X: That makes me 2 years older than you :p
Shaikha: LOL guess so
Khalid Bin X: So where do you practice?
Shaikha: Tennis?
Khalid Bin X: La jimbaz :P
Shaikha: Hahahahaha at X hotel
Khalid Bin X: Thats cool
Shaikha: Anyways i gtg TTYL


i got down from the car head straight to the hotel tennis court, met with my instructor and began practicing. 5 minutes into the 1st game Zach (my coach) got an urgent call from the hotel and had to go in to check on something i just stayed practicing my swings more with a tennis ball launcher. 
10 min later, Zach came back, and he wasn't alone. . .



Sunday, August 5, 2012

Beauty and the Knight ± Chapter 2

Maitha: Shaikhaa plss lets go we'll have a great time !
Me: I can't Mayed asked me not to, you know how he gets when i go to stupid things like these
Hend: Who cares ! Mayed is 16 hours away from us plus he won't know ur there and if he does just tell him ur supporting ur friends and family members and this all is for good cause he wont mind
Me: fine then if he says something you explain this i won't

i felt guilty not telling my boyfriend that i'm going to a carnival that is filled with guys from all over the country, we've been together for 3 years now and i've always been honest with him and told him everything, i didn't want to keep one stupid thing from him, but i had to !

my phone has been vibrating throughout the whole day my friends were too excited for this stupid carnival, i wasn't at all ! so i had to get ready and leave but i was to lazy !

{phone rings}
*In coming call: Maithana*
Me: Alo

Maitha: please tell me ur coming 
Me: I am 
Maitha: ok i'll pick you up 
Me: Nooo! i'm not ready yet!
Maitha: Waaat! shaikha are you serious !
Me: Maitha its just 5 
Maitha: its not just 5 yalla get your butt up and get ready
Me: fine i'll be there at around 6:30 or 7
Maitha: No your not your coming now 
Me: Women i said i'll be there gimme some time to get ready 
Maitha: fine hend and i are on our way 
Me: See you girls there 
Maitha: Ciao loser
Me:{laughs} Bye 


I went and got ready, i wasn't really in the mood to go to this carnival but when it comes to dressing up i had to look my best, even though i had to wear my abaya on top of wat i'm wearing it's still important to look my best for myself, wore my clothes, got my Chanel bag ready had my make up done, wore my loafers and off i went to the carnival.

{Blackberry Messenger}
Maith: PING!!!
Maith: PING!!!
Maith: PING!!!
Shaikha: Calm down women i jst left the house and i'm omw 
Maith: GOOD! 
Maith: Hend is out with Mohammed i'm with Fa6ami, Shaima and 7amda.. told them you guys are running late when u get here call hend and tell her so that you guys come in together 
Maith: so they won't get suspicious 
Shaikha: Okay!



i got there made hend leave her boyfriend and come, we got in and met with the girls.. we ate everything, i seriously felt like a pig walking around..
Then it came to this game everyone was surrounding it . . 
we had to go and check it out .. i had to keep my distance incase someone from mayed's friends saw me 


watching the boys being hit by paintball guns was entertaining until that voice caught my attention 

Voice: SAIFO!  BALAK TAT9L 7SHARTNY  ! 

i just looked towards where that voice came and saw him, walking towards his friends with a big smile,bright teeth and an amazing body! it just felt like we were the only two in this world 

Maitha: I spy with my little eye mr hottie in a yellow polo shirt
Hend: OMG SO HOTT! 
Fatma: Look at his body
Hend: tell me about it 
Me: You guys are crazy 
Hamda:  Shaikha way are you always like that u seriously need to loosen up girl!
Me: {laughs} its the way i am 
Shaima: come on i saw you staring at him
Me: yeh only cuz he scared the hell out of me 
Maitha: i think he's going to join his friends, lets go play and hit him!
Fatma: yaah yalla enseeer please it'll be fun
Me: you guys go i'll stay here watch you girls
Hamda: god shaikha ur always a party pooper 


they all went, i just couldn't help it, it just unintentionally happened i just went towards where my friends were and stood right in front of him.

Maitha: Batl3been????
Me: yah
Maitha: then we'll be a team of three not two
Guy: nzain entu faree8 ou rab3kom faree8
Maitha: haih 
Guy: ok 
Me: maitha i don't know how to use a paintball gun
Maitha: {laughs} low sama7t mumken traweeha kayf yesta3milona
Guy: haih akeed
Guy2: Saifo seer enteh sw 7ag hatheilak ana barawiha kayf

i felt my heart like skipping a beat, he was tall, probably cuz i'm short but standing close to him made my leg shake, this has never happened to me before not even when i first met mayed.

Guy2: 3raftee kayf?
Me: Shoo?
Maitha: Rames'ha bel englaizee her arabic is weak shway
Guy2: {laughs} ok, its easy to use u just aim and pull the trigger, let me show you. Saifo!
Saif: Ha!

*shoots towards saif*
*saif jumps*

Saif: khalood ya Ya 7aywan!

So thats his name Khalid

Khalid: {laughs} yakheee araweeha kaif
Saif: 3adeh traweeha ww tathrbny ana !
Khalid: {looks at me} now you know how
Me:{laughs} yah thank you but its too heavy
Khalid: do you want me to help you hold it up?
Me: ha? lalala its ok

i got the paint ball gun and saw khalid looking at me with a smile, why did i say no! i would've had a stupid helpful moment like in the movies when two people who just met are playing pool with one another and showing the other how to play .. yes yes i knw hollywood has flipped my mind into one of its movies.

Khalid: will you handle the paintball gun?
Me: {laughs} Of course

i just started aiming anywhere and Khalid was screaming " 9awbi 3a hathak " i didn't even know if i was doing the right thing..

it was a stupid entertaining game but my time with khalid had to end, i looked at him for the last time smiled and said thank you..
We went around to grab something to drink at our friends cafe, we sat there for a while spoke, to my surprise khalid was right in front of me and was waving i didn't know if he was waving to me or to maitha i just looked at her, we were both shocked

Me:  is he waving at as?
Maitha:  I don't know i just checked behind us and no one is there
Me: yah me too
Maitha: should i go?
Me: yah but don't make it obvious in front of gom fa6amy, shaima and 7amda
Maitha: Ok.. Banat ana baseer 3nd Mansoor ukhooteh bachayk 3aleih oww barja3lkom
Girls talking all 2gthr: 7abeeeebyyyy,,, hateeeee 3dnaa
Maitha: lala bay9ad3na ba3dein yom banrw7



{Blackberry Messenger}
Maith: PING!!!
Maith: PING!!!
Maith: PING!!!
Maith: PING!!!
Maith: PING!!!
Maith: PING!!!
Maith: PING!!!
Shaikha: Seriously wats with you and pings? 
Maith: Come to where the hunted house is 
Maith: Why?
Maith: Just come
Shaikha: Are you okay?
Maith: Yah come!


 I got up without explaining to the girls where i'm going, a thousand thoughts rushed through my mind, i got to where Maitha and Khalid were, i saw them looking at me and just smiling.

Khalid: Shaikha 


* * *








Thursday, August 2, 2012

Beauty and the Knight ± Chapter 1

Whoever thought that I will end up with him
out of all these girls i was the one;

i remember it as it was yesterday being forced to go to a carnival i wasn't looking forward for..

i remember just looking at him from a distance with his big smile . . bright teeth . . that amazing fit body

i didn't want to get close to him . .

Maitha and Hend my two best friends had to play a human paintball game i didn't want to,
i just wanted to stand there and look at him..

I spotted him going to his friends where the paintball was, unintentionally i just went there and told my friends i wanted to play. .

i remember maitha looking at a guy and say" we'll be three not two " the other guy was preparing the guns and he was just looking at me and smiling i can never forget they way i felt that day

i remember him looking at me with his killer smile and says " will u handle the paintball gun " i just remember laughing and turning red . . .

Maitha and Hend also went crazy over him, i just had to keep it to myself without going crazy like they did in front of them ..

Well here goes,
My name is Shaikha and this is the story on how i met the man of my dreams Khalid

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

'Til death do us part - Chapter 34 (Finale 2/2)

* 2 years later *

He suddenly couldn't breath i saw his face turn blue i had to rush him to the hospital .. i called abdulrahman crying and screaming telling him our son is dying.. Hamad is only 3 months old .. They took my baby away i rushed behind the doctors they wouldnt let me in but i had to i forced myself.. I can hear abdulrahman's voice ovetside screaming
" I will do anything for you to save my son! "

i looked around me and saw three nurses were trying to calm me down. Just looking at my son on a bed in front of me not moving kills me .. the nurse grabbed my hand and kept saying 
stay strong he will be fine "

As she tried to calm me down i shut my eyes and just started praying to god .. i suddenly heard a long beep I knew it i knew he died but i was to scared to open my eyes and face it. Tears started rushing down i heard abdulrahman shout 
" Jawaher ! " 

i opened my eyes saw his face turning red i looked at him and said 
" 7amad mat ? "

Abdulrahman grabbed me and took me out and told me 
" 6ayr min 6yoor al jana nshalla

i was in so much shock that when i got home Ahmed was asking me about his little brother i couldn't even respond i didn't know what to say or how would i explain to a three year old his baby brother died ..
My step-mom and my dad rushed to the house my step mom cried so much the only thing i can say to her Abdulrahman told me was   
6ayr min 6yoor aljana nshalla 

Abdulrahman and I stayed strong as our families came to us .. we didn't want a funeral or anything we just wanted to be with our family..  

No matter wat happens .. no matter what Abdulrahman and i go through nothing will break us we would always stay strong .. We know our son is in a better place now .. and it was a challenge from god for us to see how patient we are..
Life goes on and we had to tell Ahmed that Hamad is with god and we will see him someday nshalla.
And no matter challenges Abdulrahman and I have nothing other than death would tear us part..




Monday, March 12, 2012

'Til death do us part - Chapter 33 (Finale 1/2)

2011 ended really bad with the split up of Abdulrahman and I, but 2012 is even worse.. fighting for custody, arguments between both families.. However Ahmed and i haven't spoken .. In mid February i won sole custody of Ahmed.. When the judge told us that i first turned around and looked at Abdulrahman, his face was pale and blank.. i teared up just looking at him, he looked at me smiled and walked away.. who ever knew that after one year of getting married I'd be a single about to be divorced mother.. I never wanted this to happen.. our families being so stubborn causing all this.. i love Abdulrahman and i do want him back, if he doesnt want me i'd rather have shared custody than sole custody of Ahmed.. My baby needs to be with his father !


Me: Ubooya mumkn aklm Abdulra7man shwy
Dad: La2

Me: No dad i have to, no matter wat he's still the father of me son!
Dad: Jawaher geltlij la2
Me: You can't make me .. Abdulra7man!
Dad: Jawaher!

I ran to Abdulrahman held his hand and told him

" no matter wat i'll always love you, ur the love of my life and the father of my son,  non of our parents can do anything to make us live apart i know you dont want me anymore but we still have a7mad and he's the only one who'll keep as connected to each other "

Abdulrahman: I'll always love you jawaher, but you already signed the divorce papers, I'm on my way to sign them now thats wat our parents want, u'll be a good mother to a7mad lat7ateen
Dad: Yes jawaher he's doing the right thing 
Me: No he's not! abdulra7man i love u can't live without you, a7mad needs his father in his life ! hes almost 1 now he needs you ! Dad do something please ! dont ruin the life i always wanted, i was happy with abdulra7man how could one thing just do all this to us !
Abdulrahman: 3ami..
Dad: Tbaha el bent?
Abdulrahman: Haih 
Abdulrahmans Dad: Abdulrahman mt2akd ?
Abdulrahman: Haih ubooyh
Dad: 3eyal twaklo


Monday, January 9, 2012

'Til death do us part - Chapter 32

Standing in front of the judge, 
Fighting for my sons custody,
I never thought things would lead to this 
One stupid lie
And everything changed.. 
I knew i shouldn't have believed him 
I thought we were brothers
This is what he has done to me..
He ruined my marriage and my family
I knew Jawaher would never do such a thing 
I knew i should've believed her..
God she's my wife, Or should i say was..
Whats done is done..
I lost my wife..
And now I'm about to lose my son..
This wasn't suppose to be like this..
She's not even looking at me..
Not a glimpse.

*****************************

If only he knew how much i loved him..
If only he would believe me 
Abdulrahman was the love of my life 
How could he believe Marwan
I knew it was a mistake hiding what Marwan did to me 
But why would i risk my marriage and bring up something like that..
God i just wish i told Abdulrahman..
We wouldn't be here right now..
I can never hate Abdulrahman ..
It wasn't his mistake for hitting me ..
He was just mad..
I don't know if i'm just saying this 
Or I'm saying this cuz i still do love him..
Look at us in a room together, 
I can't even try to look at him..
I'm so scared
I don't want to lose Ahmed 
Or Abdulrahman
But i'm sure he no longer wants me..
I'm trying so hard to be strong..